The often unspoken battle
The extra mushy skin left on my belly and its new dark complexion is freaking me out a bit, but it’s still early. I’ll just continue wearing my belly band. I’m still healing is what I kept telling myself.
My mother stuck around for a couple weeks to help me. (Which I will be forever grateful for.) As I settle into being a mother and all of the changes my body has endured.
My rock hard abs weren’t so hard anymore, nor were they even there. My smooth brown skin was full of acne. My hair that had grown so beautifully during my pregnancy had begun to shed like leaves in the fall. After breastfeeding for 4 months, my boobs are smaller than they’ve ever been. I began to look in the mirror less and less.
Before I knew it, it was time for my mother to return back to her everyday life and I was left to juggle a newborn, work, and college single handily.
Days were long and nights were longer. Some days I smiled and most I cried. I closed out help from others, not wanting to be a burden. I was not a good version of myself.
I kept smiling because I wouldn’t allow my son to see me frown, but inside I was struggling. I struggled with self love. I struggled with the balance of personal and work life. I struggled with self-care. I struggled. It was a dark place.
I thank God that I no longer live in that place.
I tell my story to let others know You’re not alone. Postpartum depression is a real thing, and it’s more common than you think. Say something.
❤️
Below are some resources if you are experiencing postpartum depression or know someone who is:
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